1st Year...

J....

I’ve created several drafts before I’ve come up with my final letter for you. As you know, am not used to writing letters and sending emails until we’ve met. Every time there’s something I want to share and tell you, I will put it into writing. I think, that’s where my passion in writing comes in, especially if am doing it for the right person, to the person I really love and to the person I really really love.

It’s been a year and we’re still together, standing. How amazing that a couple would last a year where in fact, relationships like what we have don’t last long. I could say that this is an achievement for the 2 of us, despite of all the things that have happened between the 2 of us, we were able to manage our expectations and our needs. I would like to commend you for being a great partner all these months. You’ve been so faithful and I know from my heart that you’ll always be. I know it’s tough to be in our situation since people look at it on a diff light but as long as we’re both happy, I don’t care. Because for me, the most important thing is just to be with you.

When I say I am passionate about our relationship, it means I can stay for you even if you don’t feel the same way. That is right, my love for you will be unconditional and it will last until my last breath. I know myself and from the fact that I am decided to take risks on my relationships, this time, I’m doing it, for us.

The decision to be in this relationship is very important for me because this is my life now. Well, I am happy what the heck and I will be happy as long as we’re together.

I love you so much baby and I hope and pray that up to the last tayo pa din. Happy anniversary baby.

M...

EX...

J....

I never thought that I would finally realize how much love you have for your ex until now. Don’t worry, am not mad. Am just confused because, I would like to be him but I will never be him. This is so funny, because I thought I have you. I think I never have or had you. All these time, we’ve been together but you always long for your ex’s warmth and attention.

Yes, I am jealous. Who wouldn’t be? Every time there’s a chance for you to talk about him, you’ll always bring him as a better partner. He’ll always come out as a superior being than anybody else. True? I bet you’ll say yes. He’s the best and no one will ever replace him to your heart. 2 months is equivalent to 20 years and 1 year is just a speck of a dust. I tried to replace him but I guess I can never do that. As long as you have all the things that remind you of him, you’ll never get over him. I already gave everything in this relationship and my efforts are not enough because there’s only one man that can make you happy.

Am not saying good bye, am not giving up on what we have even if you treat them nothing compared to what you had. If you’ll notice, I seldom talk about my ex bec I don’t have feelings for him anymore and I don’t want to hurt you in any way. But you always make me feel bad whenever you mention his name or how good he is as a partner. I know and I feel your efforts not to think of him but it shows in your eyes that you’re still longing for him. I envy him a lot because even if he’s not with you, your heart belongs to him and no one can ever change that, not even me. It hurts to accept the fact that am with you but you think of somebody else.

I decided to put everything in writing bec I don’t have the courage to say these things in front of you. I want you to understand how much I love you and if you gave everything to your ex, I’ve given more on this one. I’ve done extra mile I should say. It’s all because of you. I’ve never done anything like this and I know how you feel, suddenly neglected but since you still love the person you give a little hope that someday your path will cross and decide to be together for the rest of your lives. I now say to myself, maybe am just an instrument for you to realize what are the things you should prioritize, and when you’re ready, you can leave me anytime you want. But don’t worry, God is fair and am sure he has something for me.

The ball is with you. Sorry if am so “madrama” but I want clarity and you’re the only one who can give me that. I have to accept that life sometimes is unfair but that’s what you get when you decide to fall for someone. I chose you and I already thought of the things that might happen along our way.

Btw, I did not mention how much I love you. Let’s say, you’re my only home. without you, i’ll be homeless. I can go anywhere I go, but it wont be the same.

M